本帖最后由 meteorobs 于 2009-1-11 11:07 编辑
2009 年 1 月 9 日 星期 五 今晚报
Why Is It So Hard to Be Yourself？
做自己，为什么那么难？
by Michael Miles 辛献云 译
“Be yourself！”This is a common piece of advice, often given before an interview or a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Sounds like a strange piece of advice, though. How could you not be yourself？
Strange as it seems, we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people’s expectations, to dance to their tune, to let them pull our strings. We crave approval. We need to fit in. In many ways, this is just a characteristic of being human. But this natural and healthy tendency has taken over our lives to such an extent that we are often paralyzed by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us. But what would things look like if you could really “be yourself”？
“做你自己！”在面试、约会前或是其他需要给人以深刻印象的场合，我们常常听到这一司空见惯的忠告。不过，这个忠告听起来怪怪的。你怎么能不是你自己呢？
虽然听起来有点怪，但我们一生的确受制于各种约束，按照他人的期望行事，随着他人的节奏起舞，任由他人在幕后操纵。我们渴望社会认可。我们需要融入社会。从很大程度上说，这正是人类的特性。但这种自然、健康的特性却牢牢控制了我们的生活，以至于我们时时诚惶诚恐，害怕面对外部的世界，为别人对自己的看法而烦恼不已。但假如我们真的能够“做自己”，情况又会怎样呢？
Don’t give away your power
不要放弃自己的力量
It is impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think—we have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important. And in some ways it is——other people do have power over us. But the truth is that it doesn’t matter as much as you think; usually it doesn’t matter at all. Sometimes you’ll be flavor of the month; other times you might be public enemy number one. But you cannot control what other people think of you, so why even try？
Let them think what they will. To give the opinions and thoughts of others so much importance is to make your own life a misery. When you stop giving your power away to other people like this, your life will be so much lighter and easier.
如果你总是为他人如何看待你而烦恼不已，那就不可能真正做自己。我们都在乎（至少有一点点）他人的看法——从小到大，我们都被灌输这样的信条：他人的认可非常重要。在某些方面确实如此——他人对我们的确有影响力。但事实上，这影响力并不像你想的那么重要；通常情况下它根本无关紧要。有时你可能是红极一时的宠儿，有时又可能成为千夫所指的公敌。但既然你无法控制别人对你的看法，又何必在乎呢？
别人爱怎么想就怎么想吧。过于看重他人的意见和想法只会把自己的生活搞得一团糟。当你不再放弃自己的力量而倚重他人时，你就能生活得更加轻松、自在。
Live with integrity
正直地生活
Living with integrity means being an open, honest person. It means saying what you think——not in an arrogant, conceited way, which is usually a sign of an inferiority complex——but because you shouldn’t hide what you believe. If you are not true to yourself——if you are dishonest, if you hide part of yourself, either as a defense mechanism or to get a promotion or make money, you will create what I have heard called an“inner darkness”, and this will haunt you.
You might be able to succeed in some senses by being dishonest and duplicitous, but in the end you will be unable to face yourself, and if you cannot look in the mirror with a clear conscience, how can you be yourself？
正直地生活就是要做一个开朗、诚实的人。这就意味着要说出自己真正想说的话——这不是要你目中无人、傲慢自负，这样通常只能表明自己具有自卑情结——而是因为你不应该隐藏自己的真正想法。如果你对自己都不真诚——如果你不诚实，或者部分地隐藏自己，无论是作为一种自卫方式，还是为了升职或是获得金钱——你都会将自己带入某种所谓的“内心的黑暗”，而这种黑暗会如幽灵般对你纠缠不休。
也许，凭借自欺欺人、口是心非，你可以获得某种意义上的成功，但你最终将无法面对自己。如果你不能问心无愧地面对镜中的自己，又怎么能做真实的自己呢？ （上）
（摘自2008年12月《新东方英语》）
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